So, this will be my inaugural post. Not even that it “will” be.
This is my inaugural post. And might I say, it feels good.
For those who are reading this and don’t know who I am let me give you the Top 5 facts about me:
1. My name is Mike Mage
2. I am the Contemporary Worship Leader here at FUMC Dunedin. Or Dunedin FUMC.
3. I have a wife, named Kristen, who briefly served as one of the Interim Children’s Ministry directors. And she nailed it.
4. I have a chocolate lab named Layla who frequently has hiccups and when she was a puppy it was the cutest thing ever.
5. Beyond my “immediate” (Kristen and Layla), the rest of my family is awesome. Some who read this will know them and can also testify to this fact.
There we go. Top 5.
Not that you all have this great, deep and thorough connection with me personally, I guess I’ll delve a little further.
For those of you that don’t me, or in fact, do know me, God has wired me for what I am doing at this exact moment in time. Outside of leading worship here in Dunedin, I am also traveling around the country with my sister and a few of my friends in a band called Bellarive. We lead worship at conferences, retreats, church services, bar mitzvahs (not really), and festivals. It all started two years ago in my friend Sean’s house when we started writing music as a response to what God was doing through us at the time. We were all worship leaders who were gifted with music so it came very natural for us to do this. A short time later we decided to record these songs. Recently, I just got back from leading at a church in Montana. Two years ago if you would have told me that that was going to be happening I would have told you “What?!?“. I would have also told that to you in the nicest way possible, because I’m that kind of guy. Even though it did happen, it is still “crazy” and unplanned. God is seriously moving in unexpected ways. Ways that we will continue to never see coming. Specific example:
Student Life is an organization that puts on youth conferences and camps all throughout the country during the summer time. The camps they put on are not just high quality in production value (lights, staging, and the always intriguing smoke machines) but also in who they get to come lead worship and give the messages. At one camp they have Chris Tomlin come lead, who is arguably one of the most influential worship leaders of my generation, and Louie Giglio speak. Louie Giglio started the Passion Movement about 15 years ago which has changed the way churches have worshiped…for the better. Having them though is a bit of an aberration because that is for the biggest camp they have measuring in at a soft 6000 people. But at all of the other camps, they have a band and a speaker. So, Bellarive, was called to come “audition” to be one of the bands that would lead worship at camps for 2012, and it would be one of the smaller camps, between 700 and 1000. After we lead worship, or “auditioned”, for the leaders at their training facility, we were able to hang out with the President of all things Student Life (not his official title…I think) . We were able to share our hearts and he fell in love with us. By the time we had gotten home (the next day) he had already scheduled us for three camps in 2012. Sidenote: this doesn’t happen. Four days later we get a call from him asking us if we were busy July 12th. He tells us to clear our schedule if we are because he wants us to play one night at they Daytona Beach camp. This is the same one that Chris Tomlin leads at, the same one where there are 6000 people. Another sidenote: Seriously, things like this do not happen.
If I had the will, energy and a captive audience, I could write several thousand words about the amazing things God is doing through us. To see movement and progression not only in us as a band, but in people’s hearts as they worship along with us is something you cannot forget. And I will be the first and last person to always tell you, not a single thing is because of me. And to the outsider, all of these opportunities are mind blowing and some people might find what I’m about to say ridiculous. So because I’m a wild and crazy guy I’ll share it with you.
It is scary.
Shouldn’t I be ecstatic?
I am.
Shouldn’t I be overjoyed that God is working through us and what I’m doing is positively affecting the lives and hearts of thousands of people?
I couldn’t honestly ask for anything more.
Then why am I scared?
I can honestly say it’s because I have no idea what is the next step for me. I couldn’t tell you what is going to happen tomorrow with all of this stuff. I have such little control over what the actual effect is. In a way, it starts to affect my self confidence and perception of self actuality. Maybe it’s my affinity for self-deprecation or inherent brokeness, but I want to feel in control because I don’t feel good enough to be in this position I am in. If I fail or better yet yet, if I succeed, I want it to always be on my terms, even though the reach of what I would do would be far less eternal and would stop at the applause of men. I also question God’s motives, which is downright silly. Why should God choose me? I’m not qualified for this. It’s been a struggle and I think that this will continue to be a struggle for me not to wrestle out of God’s hands His glory and for me to try and stamp my name on it. I truly believe God is playfully stiff arming me away from it, because sometimes I don’t know any better. And the more I think about it…The more freeing it actually is.
In Matthew 11 Jesus says:
27 “My Father has entrusted everything to me. No one truly knows the Son except the Father, and no one truly knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.” 28 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”
In the Message version of the Bible, vs. 29 says: ‘…Feel the unforced rhythms of grace…’
The coolest thing to me is that God doesn’t want us to be burdened with thoughts of fear, regret, self-doubt and a loss self-worth. He doesn’t want us to control our lives with a tight, forceful grip because in the end, even the smartest, most well intentioned human being has no idea what tomorrow holds for them. So whether it’s me with Bellarive and then coming home to be a part of this wonderful community in Dunedin or you and your schooling or your job, God wants what is best for us. God wants us to body surf on his invitingly risky wave of provision. He wants us to bob our heads to His incredibly intentional and detailed melodies of wonder and rhythms of grace.
He’s telling us to just go with it.
Thanks for reading.
Mike Mage